#1 – How the pandemic shaped my life

A story of low-lows and high-highs.

Posted on March 15, 2023 in Personal

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It’s the tailwind of 2019 – the shadow of the pandemic has yet to hit the world, but its impact is slowly starting to be felt.

I’m sitting alone at the condo lounge, where I often find myself doing work, except this time, things are different. A typical work day for me was simple: study for my Software Development degree (I should say attempt to ‘study’) for a few hours, watch some YouTube videos, hit the gym and then head off to my bartending gig until 2-3 am, wake up around 11 pm the next day and do it all over again; life was simple.

Once the pandemic hit – everything changed.

I lost my job. School went online. My gym closed.

Sitting there, alone, in the quietness of the lounge, I realized that I no longer had to rush out the door and run off to do the next thing instead, I was faced with the reality in front of me – I had time to do things that previously I would postpone, excusing myself as ‘too busy’ to pursue it.

I was excited about this new chapter; elated to know that I could pour my heart & soul into a new endeavour; run off into a new direction that previously felt unattainable, scary and unknown. In all honesty, I remember feeling happy at that moment because I felt like I could conquer the world, that everything was within my reach, and nothing was an obstacle.

So, I got to work.

I started a business with two amazing co-founders – something that I’ve been dreaming about for years building up to that moment. In May of 2020, we officially incorporated Snakebyte Studios – a creative experience agency that was going to be the vehicle that would drive me towards success. Myself behind the wheel, and my two partners beside me; our agency was going to change the advertising landscape in Toronto and, with that, our lives.

I’m going to skip most of the story from this point on because it involves a lot of mundane, day-to-day entrepreneurial moments: learning to put out fires, absorbing new information on a day-to-day basis on how to build a business, managing employees & client expectations, constant failures and micro successes. I’ll tell you one thing tho – life was fun. I was completely tunnel visioned on success, nothing bothered me, and any adversity was met with unbreakable optimism – I felt unstoppable.

Fast forward to the beginning of 2022. The business collapsed, my motivation to pursue it extinguished, and my dreams, along with my identity, shattered before my eyes. I felt exhausted, drained, emotionally fatigued and mentally unable to cope with my life – in other words, I got burnt out.

Boy burned out standing infront of cave

Burnout is a real thing – despite what our parents, or society, might say. It’s not as simple as “get over it” or “stop feeling sorry for yourself; just get back to work, and it will all go away.”

When you’re burnt out, you’re in a state that comes from long-term, unresolved stress that can impact your entire life. Nobody wants to burn out, yet year over year, there has been an increase in the number of people experiencing burnout. Google searches of ‘signs of burnout’ increased by over 200%.

Burnout occurs over 5 stages:

  1. HONEYMOON PHASE

You’ve undertaken a new task; life feels novel & exciting. You’re energized, creative, and have plenty of satisfaction with your daily routine.

  1. ONSET OF STRESS

Suddenly, some days are more difficult than others. You begin to feel pangs of anxiety, avoidance of decision making, change in appetite, irritability & poor sleep.

  1. CHRONIC STRESS

You’ve been grinding the gears for too long, and your motivation has been shot, along with your desire to be a productive human being. Constant exhaustion, decreased sexual desire, aggression, and procrastination engulf you.

  1. BURNOUT

Congratulations, you’ve reached burnout! Every day becomes difficult to cope with. You feel like you’ve hit your limit, and even getting up in the morning feels like an enormous task.

  1. HABITUAL BURNOUT

If left untreated, your life becomes a constant state of chronic mental fatigue, depression, sadness and physical issues. You have become one with the burnout (and not in a good way.)

Naturally, we all want to stay within the HONEYMOON PHASE - forever - but without proper coping mechanisms, you will begin to see yourself descend the burnout ladder until you’ve hit bottom – and that’s not a place that’s fun to be at.

AFTERSHOCK This by no means is a sob story – in fact, one that I hope proves to be inspirational.

I've since moved on from my doom-and-gloom mindset and have embarked on a new adventure. I write for amazing clients, I develop websites (like my personal one!) and am finishing up my last few courses at school.

This coming year, I will continue to hone my craft, while actively engaging in interesting AI trends/technologies that I can learn to leverage to augment my productivity/output as a solopreneur.

I'm beyond thrilled to wake up each day with a purpose – and have long since realized that life is an emotional rollercoaster filled with scary, exhilarating peaks, and long, depressing lows – that's the beauty of life.

:)


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